Insight

All of a sudden, you're everywhere. The universe keeps leaving little hints that you're missing from my world and that you were even in it. For so long, I started to forget you existed. And now, you're everywhere. I can't say that I miss you, really. But these reminders of you are trying to make me miss you. I'm afraid that it's starting to wear me down. I don't know how much longer I can hold it off. I wouldn't be able to go through it all, again. It took me a couple of months to scab over and I'm trying not to pick at it. The love I had for you was a love I won't share again for a long time. I've built this wall of protection in my desperate months of healing. You took part of me with you when you left the way you did. You stole that innocent part of me that had the capacity to be romantic and playful and soft. This time next year I imagine I will have gotten that part of me back; but these constant reminders are slowing down the healing process. If I'm being true to myself, if you realized your mistake and regretted leaving and somehow grew the courage to contact me with this regret, I think it would make an amazing relationship. I have come to learn what I need to do differently in any relationship I have. Things probably aren't that simple, though. So, I will continue moving on and ignoring these reminders until I get back to the place I was at, where you never existed. Right now, I'm vulnerable again for the first time in months. Maybe, the things I lost are coming back to me. I need to take a different road so I don't miss out on getting them back.