on 2009 and general whatnots

I'm ready for this week to be over. I start my new schedule next week and I could not be more excited. I hope I'm able to get there on time every day. Oh, and by the way. Why the fuck is Thanksgiving this week? How did that fucking happen? I'm still not sure. Oh well, what are ya gonna do.

I just now finally took down my Halloween decor. I took it down on Monday. I guess I'll put up the tree on Friday. Or, maybe I won't. I have three cats. One of them is a new kitten. That has got to be a recipe for disaster. Well, I gotta have a tree, though. I'll be ready for these holidays to pass and for it to be 2010. I really hated 2009. I have never hated a year more than I have hated this one. I'll be happy to start a new year and put this one behind me. More on this later.

In other news, I went to see "New Moon" on Monday night. I drank half a bottle of moscato and went to see it at 10 pm. It was amazing. I left the theater wanting to have sex with everyone I saw and wanting even more to be a werewolf to kill them afterward.

I've got the lights off and I'm listening to Massive Attack. It's all trippy and there is pinot involved. There is a slight chance I drink too much wine. But who fucking cares.

So my grandfather died this year. He was a really mean man but that doesn't mean that my dad/grandma aren't messed up about it. I'm sure losing a parent, even a horrid one, isn't easy. The funeral was quite odd. I haven't really talked to anyone about it as I feel sorta weird about the whole thing. It's the one funeral I've ever been to where I didn't cry or feel sad. The last time I saw him was like two years ago on Father's Day. I had brought my guitar to play it for he and my father. He told me to pawn it and a get a better one. ...

I went to the visitation to be there for my father. I'm the only one who is ever really there for my dad and/or really cares about him, despite him sometimes being shitty. It was my intent to avoid the casket but I, of course, ended up with a front-row-center seat right in front of his dead body for two hours. I stayed the whole time because my father did. Afterward, I took my mother and sister to eat at Ruby Tuesday.

I cannot afford to eat out but I am not in debt as they are, so guess who the lucky person was to get to pay? ... Yep. Me. Whatever. It's not like I needed that fourty bucks for anything. ...Mortgage, new kitten, dogfood, catfood, food for me, car payment, utilities, cable, gas, trash, litter, trash-bags, etc etc etc etc a;kljdf;akjdwqiur0oiuen. Anyway, I don't think my sister ever thanked me. My mom just ordered soup, she felt horrible she couldn't pay for it.

My mom has gotten herself into a totally horrible mess. She came to me at the hardest point in my life for help and it has been the absolute roller coaster ride from hell this year. Not just this but with everything. There is a reason I have become a wino. haha, ahhh god. Anyhoo, I have helped her as much as humanly possible, and then some. I loaned her four hundred something to get her out of her mess and worked twelve hour days for more days than I care to admit but by holy fuck I was able to pay my bills somehow and comfortably survive. (I miight have run my car into my garage but, by holy hell, I am here.) I fear there's more to come as I suspect my dad is working toward divorcing my mother. One bridge at a time, though. One bridge at a time. Cheers! gulp. gulp.

I drove up to Columbia last weekend to catch up with Daniel. There was a party at The Pink, as he calls it, and I met a few people. We passed around a couple and I drank a lot of cheaply named beer. I sat between a guy named Scott and Ryan, one fat and one not. Scott: skinny with a neat hat. They both wanted my number. Scott got it as Ryan was fat and no thanks. Fuck fucking fat fucking people. I ended up driving back home without sleeping, in a severe downpour, and came home for my horrid haircut by Ben (which I shaved one evening, as previously mentioned). This has been a severely retarded year, as I said before:

So far in 2009,
*bought a house
*got laid-off
*got engaged
*got disengaged
*acquired a full house payment and full responsibility thereof
*became addicted to wine
*learned how to ride a motorcycle
*bought an accordion
*bought a 55 gallon aquarium
*bought a queen bed and accessories
*got a cat
*my grandfather died
*shaved my head
Numbers:
*dates: 7
*people made out with: 4
*churches attended: 1
*concerts performed: 2
*jobs held: 1
*bike rides: 4
*hands held: 2
*major secrets told: 2
*major lies told: 3
*trips taken: 3
*new addictions: 5
*longest sleep: 18 hours
*new people met: 6
*fish killed: 3, 4? / 2 snails, and a handful of crabs
*people threatened: 5
*major realizations about myself: 3

I have decided already that I get to finish out this year with who I have always been and when it turns 2010 I leave that person behind forever. I have made a list of things I will be and of things I will not. Those will be implemented when it strikes 2010. Some are here:

*I will be traveling with every drop of my time off
*I will be working toward a promotion
*I will do what makes me happy, irregardless of what others think about those things
*(I have already done this and will continue to do so) I will cut all ties with anyone who is merely an acquaintance. I only need friends in my life. I don't need hangers-on.
*I will cook all of my meals
*I will make more Beatman videos: http://www.youtube.com/user/MarkBeatman
*I will get caught up on Harry Potter and The Inheritance Trilogy
*I will read. Period.
*I will cancel my subscription to Entertainment
*I will take a trip with a stranger
*I will go to a movie every Friday, if I can afford it
*(I have already done this and will continue to do so) I will eat all leftovers
*I will sign-up for classes for something new
*I will only hang out with people who ask me to do things with them
*I will get up early on my days off
*I will kiss more and think less
*I will get my eyes checked
*I won't be so nit-picky
*I won't get any more animals
*I won't get behind on any payments
*I won't let anyone move in with me
*I won't do anything I don't want to do
*I will stop thinking mid-twenties is old
*I will stop thinking about the past and only look forward
*I will start working out every day
*I will grow my hair out


I will add to this list as things pop up. I'm going to make a huge poster of them and frame it on my wall.

Goats